Month: May 2019

In the summer of 2016, Rachael Denhollander was scrolling through Facebook at her home in Louisville, Kentucky, when she happened upon the cover story of the day’s Indianapolis Star. It was an investigation into U.S.A. Gymnastics, one of the nation’s most prominent Olympic organizations, concluding that for years the federation’s top officials had mishandled allegations […]

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, took advantage of Donald Trump’s storming out of an Oval Office meeting on Wednesday to hide the nuclear codes, Pelosi has confirmed. Moments after Trump threw a tantrum and abruptly left his own office, the quick-thinking Pelosi turned to Senator Charles Schumer, who was also present for […]

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Earlier this spring, Karl Rove, the veteran Republican strategist, was making the rounds in Congress to talk up Rivada Networks, a telecommunications company with a 5G business model predicated on partnering with the Department of Defense. Rove, who is not a registered lobbyist but is an investor in Rivada, met with staff members of the […]

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“There is a natural aristocracy among men,” Thomas Jefferson wrote to John Adams from Monticello, in 1813, in one of the best-known passages from their vast post-Presidential correspondence. “There is also an artificial aristocracy founded on wealth and birth, without either virtues or talents; for with these it would belong to the first class. The […]

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