IMPACT Wrestling Results
March 29, 2018

– We see a pre-recorded segment with IMPACT World Champion Austin Aries meeting with Matt Sydal and Josh Matthews “earlier in the week”. Sydal wants a shot at the world title but refuses to give up the X-Division title in exchange, which is fine because Aries has no interest in winning that title for the seventh time, and instead mocks Josh Matthews for being handed the IMPACT Grand Championship. He tells Sydal he can have his shot but only if he puts the Grand title on the line in exchange. Josh isn’t happy, complaining that it was given to him as a gift and Aries has no right – blah, blah, blah. Sydal agrees anyways.

PETEY WILLIAMS def. SUICIDE, ROHIT RAJU and TAIJI ISHIMORI. 

Wild match. Everyone threw dropkicks and hurricanranas early on with nobody taking control for too long because of the fast pace of the bout. Petey had the first submission attempt with a Sharpshooter but it didn’t last long before Raju suplexed him nearly out of his shoes. Suicide and Raju went back and forth with hard strikes and kicks before brawling to the outside. Ishimori hit the Golden Triangle Moonsault to take everyone out, because apparently everyone is doing Ibushi’s move now. Petey came back with a flurry of kicks and a Codebreaker from the second rope. Ishimori connected with a 450 splash but it was broken up. Petey hit Suicide with a Canadian Destroyer, then dropped Ishimori with the Destroyer as well to get the win.

– Petey Williams cut a promo telling Matt Sydal to bring the X-Division Championship to IMPACT Redemption on 4/22 because he was cashing in his Feast or Fired briefcase.

– Eli Drake was backstage expressing his frustration over winning the tag team Feast or Fired briefcase. He admits he should probably be greatful that he wasn’t released like EC3 but he’s not a tag team wrestlers, and he doesn’t even have a partner. He says he’s got an idea, got up and walked away.

SU YUNG def. AMBER NOVA

Braxton Sutter introduced the “Undead Bride” so it looks like the two of them are a thing now. Nova hit about 0.5 seconds of offense before Yung killed her with a running knee strike and the Panic Switch (helicopter Falcon Arrow) to get an easy win.

– Taya Valkyrie was backstage and said she finally proved to the world that she was better than Rosemary after all this time. Rosemary is shown stalking her rival from on top of a production trailer and threw a trash can at her pegging her square in the face. The two brawled around outside using everything they could get their hands on. Taya took a face full of poison mist and accidentally attacked Dick Justice who was trying to help, then took out poor Amber Nova who was already being helped after the match with Su Yung. Rosemary came off the trailer to take out everyone .

KM def. FALLAH BAHH

This was pre-recorded at an independent promotion in New York. KM tried to take it directly to the big man several times but was no match for the big man’s size and strength. He went for a choke hold but got squashed with a Samoan Drop for his trouble. Bahh hit a bunch of wicked chops and strikes before splashing his opponent in the corner. He looks to put things away with a second rope Bonzai Drop but came up empty, crashing and burning. KM pinned him with his feet on the ropes to steel an upset victory.

BRIAN CAGE def. BOBBY LASHLEY

Crazy match. They started things out slow jockeying for position and trying to one-up each other. Cage hit a series of suplexes, but at this point neither is ever going to stay down so he big man started throwing hurricanranas like a 300-pound cruiserweight. Cage responded with a diving crossbody and we’re off to the races! They beat the absolute hell out of each other for ten minutes, Lashley hitting spears in the corner and Brian throwing ridiculuos lariats and suplexes. Cage at one point hit a springboard tornado DDT that had everyone losing their minds. In the end Lashley hit a big spear but only got two-and-a-half and went to argue with the referee. He turned around into a ridiculous discus lariat, turning the former world champion inside out to win the match.

– Knockouts Champion Allie asks her mentor Gail Kim for advance backstage. They talk about Su Yung and Braxton Sutter and what’s going on with them, and Gail tells the champ to stand up for herself. Allie puts on a brave face and marches out of the room to control her own destiny.

– We got to footage of some wrestling even in Ohio where Eddie Edwards is just murdering people with a kendo stick. He says he’ll fight everyone in Ohio if that’s what it takes to get revenge on Sami Callihan. The “Worldwide Desperado” came out to the ramp to address him, but the rest of OVE ran out and put the boots to Edwards. Callihan teases using the baseball bat again but Eddie struggles back into the match, kicks him in the balls and lays out OVE with the baseball bat. Eventually the numbers game is too much and Jake/Dave hit him with a double foot stomp Indytaker.

AUSTIN ARIES (c) def. MATT SYDAL (c) to retain the IMPACT World Championship and become the new IMPACT Grand Champion 

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Josh Matthews was ringside for the match holding on to the X-Division Championship. Alberto el Patron is shown backstage eating a juicy steak with a glass of wine like the classy mother—-er that he is. Slow start with both looking for submissions and trading holds. Aries got an early Last Chancery locked in but the challenger was able to power out. Aries reversed a sunset flip powerbomb into a seated dropkick and seemed to have a counter to everything. Later into the match Aries hit a big dropkick in the corner setting up his signature Brainbuster, but Sydal kneed him in the head and hit a modified neckbreaker. They traded chops and strikes but it was never enough to keep either down. Matthews got involved several times at the end prompting Petey Williams to run out and knock him off the apron. Aries avoids the Shooting Star Press and kicks Sydal’s head off his shoulders. Brainbuster connects! 1…2…3.