You’ve already burned through Handmaid's Tale, Dear White People, and GLOW. The new season of Game of Thrones is still weeks away. Here you are, two days into a four-day weekend, and you’ve run out of premium streaming content to binge-watch. Maybe you’ve even run out of sub-premium streaming content to binge-watch. That leaves you two options: venture out into the sunshine, or find some sub-sub-premium streaming content to binge-watch. By all means, feel free to pursue the second option, but be warned: There is some streaming content that is singularly unsuitable for binge-watching. If you find yourself contemplating binge-watching the following, do yourself a favor and pursue some other, less-hazardous activity, like setting off black-market fireworks. We'll see you on the other side, soldier.
Frontline (available on PBS)
The hard-hitting PBS documentary series is incredible in small doses, and the recent exposé of poorly-labeled health supplements will have you jonesing like a cave salamander in need of a vitamin D fix. But don’t succumb! After plowing through episodes on North Korea, solitary confinement, and the rise of ISIS, you’ll be much more informed… of how irredeemably awful the world really is. And that’s what Twitter’s for!
Jane Fonda’s Workout Series (available on Amazon Video)
We’ll forgive you for being lured by the nostalgic appeal and prominent legwarmers of 1982’s Jane Fonda’s Original Workout, but for the love of all that is holy, please stop there. If you insist on plowing through Jane Fonda’s New Workout, Jane Fonda’s Low-Impact Workout, and Jane Fonda’s Easy Going Workout—to say nothing of her modern update, the Jane Fonda Prime Time series—you’ll regret it. Six straight hours of even the lowest-impact pelvic thrusts will have you feeling the burn… of skeletomuscular realignment. If you insist on a Fonda-thon, stick with that Barbarella/Monster-In-Law double-feature and avoid this calamity, Jane!
The City of Flagstaff’s City Council Meeting video archives (available on Flagstaff's official site)
After the last month of mounting buzz, by now everyone has heard about this series’ incredible double-header conclusion: May 23's 201-minute Combined Special Work Session/Special Meeting, followed by the May 30 Combined Special Meeting/Special Work Session. But you can't just jump right to the tour de force, and I hate to inform you that this is not a season that rewards a binge. Unfortunately, there's integral scene-setting in May 9's interminable wildfire preparedness briefing, and even to appreciate that you have sit through the May 2 discussion of El Tapatio’s liquor license application. And don’t even get me started on Vice-Mayor Jamie Whelan’s constant throat-clearing!
Man v. Food (available on Amazon)
What’s more fitting than tele-gorging on “big food” fanatic Adam Richman’s performative gluttony? But be forewarned: watch too many episodes in a row and you’ll develop the rare but extremely uncomfortable condition known as Sympathy Gout. More like purge-watching, am I right?
Breaking Bad (available on Netflix, for some reason)
Everyone seems to go nuts about this, but the color balance feels a little off. Is it just me?
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How TV Opening Titles Got to Be So Damn Good
TV is way better than it used to be and you can say the same thing for the opening titles of your favorite series. They used to be afterthoughts, but now they’re artistic statements of their own.